Here are some questions to consider for counseling:
- What are your best hopes for this process?
- What are your fears about this?
- What will be required of yourself?
- How motivated are you to make these changes?
- What do you do that helps your partner feel heard by you?
- What complaints does your partner have of you?
Here are some questions to consider for mediation:
- When do we need an agreement done by?
- Are you prepared to be the only one that is flexible? (Are you going to change your mind on an issue, especially if upset)?
- Are you prepared to be the only one that generates new ideas? (Do you want to talk about the past or the future)?
- Imagine you got what you needed from this process. How would that help your kids (or you)?
- What do you believe the easiest issues are to be solved?
- Pressing issues are not meant to be final, precedential, and admissible. There may be retroactive application of any new resolution.
- What would you do if you were in the other’s shoes?
- Can each of you offer a package deal?
- Wouldn’t it make sense to see how much we could accomplish before we go to war?