We like, value and care for our clients. We want to communicate understanding and compassion. We need to work on your goals, not ours. Most importantly, we must get feedback regarding the client’s experience of the alliance and progress.
According to the most thorough reviews of the empirical literature, the most reliable predictor of successful counseling is not technique or the counselor; it is the quality of alliance between client and counselor. Better alliances result in better outcomes when working with individuals, couples and families, children and adolescents, and mandated/involuntary clients.
We also like to use humor where appropriate. Researchers in the healthcare field have also established connections between humor and physical and mental health. Humor changes brain chemistry. It increases antibodies and blood flow and decreases stress hormones and inflammation. Humor is also about creating an optimal climate for maximizing the benefit of treatment. It boosts memory and creativity, helps release fears, anger and stress and supports acceptance of mistakes and situations out of our control.
“I wish we were closer.”
“I wish I knew what to expect when I see her later today.”
“He should know what I want. It doesn’t do any good if I have to ask for it.”
While the benefits of journaling are well-known, Minute Mood is designed to be a tool to stay connected. With a little time and energy, you can learn to “read your partner’s mind.” Close relationships are familiar with each other’s world.
Start by selecting an emoji for your mood in your personal journal. Then, in the “About Me” section clarify what you are feeling about your day or the relationship. This is not a place to criticize your partner, defend yourself, or chat. Without an immediate response, a more thoughtful response can be given later in the day, or serve to spark a conversation.
Then, in the “About You” section, state what you believe your partner feels about their day or the relationship. This space is reserved to understand your partner better, and is not about yourself. Consider what makes them happy, or worried, or where they may feel sadness.
Researchers found marriages are strengthened through cognitive empathy, or perspective-taking — how accurately one partner understands the other partner’s emotions, and their own. Track mood and relational patterns to gain insight into one’s needs.
Let us know your situation and what you are looking for!
We have in-network clinicians available for most insurance and employee assistance programs. Blair Counseling and Mediation will bill your insurance company or employee assistance program as a courtesy, if you wish.