Why use Blair Counseling and Mediation?
Mediation is an effective tool to resolve marriage, family and personal disputes that need to be resolved. Any dispute can be mediated if participants are willing.
Divorce is one occasion where mediation can save time and money, allowing you to talk directly with another party to resolve issues. Unavoidable divorce is near the top of the list of stressful and life-altering events. The anger and betrayal, or the loss of love and happiness can trigger a dread of future unknowns. Maintaining the ability to communicate and resolve issues issues can be invaluable during a time like this, and potentially save thousands of dollars and time. We encourage participants to review their agreements with an attorney.
Most importantly, Blair Counseling and Mediation seeks to resolve issues in the best interest of children. Children are most affected by an adversarial and antagonistic process. Blair Counseling and Mediation seeks to reduce stress on the family. Many empirical studies already show that human psychology is critically important to dispute resolution.
What is Mediation?
The role of the mediator is to provide a neutral setting to understand underlying interests and priorities of each party of a dispute and clarify communication between them. The goal of mediation is to create options and customize resolutions in a cost-effective way, and to reduce stress on the family. The agreements are mutual and no party should feel coerced or pressured into agreement. The mediator will document agreements that can be submitted to your lawyer. The agreements remain non-binding until a lawyer prepares the final legal documents and they are approved by the court.
What divorce issues can be mediated?
Decisions that have to be made in a divorce process include (but are not limited to) parenting, custody, division of assets/liabilities, child and spousal support, insurance, and tax filing. Blair Counseling and Mediation can mediate all or part of a dispute.
Divorce Therapy and Mediation
Can’t We All Just Get Along?
When a relationship ends, communication usually breaks down. Threat, stress, and grief make solution-focused conversations hard—and that’s exactly where divorce mediation and therapy can help. At Blair Counseling and Mediation, we guide respectful discussions so you can make durable agreements that protect your children, time, and finances. We also offer collaborative problem-solving through co-parenting counseling, reunification therapy and supervised visitation.
Why Choose Divorce Mediation (with Attorney Support)
Mediation works hand-in-hand with attorneys. Many issues can be resolved in mediation first, then reviewed by your lawyers before filing. Compared to litigation, mediation is typically:
- Faster and less expensive
- More private and flexible
- Better for co-parenting long term
Mediators are neutral. We don’t take sides, make decisions, or give legal advice—we protect the communication process so you can reach informed, voluntary agreements based on full disclosure.
How Mediation Conversations Work
Debates that trade accusations for “wins” rarely solve anything. We keep discussions practical and future-focused.
- Share the facts as you see them—without personal attacks
- Respond to proposals with: “Yes,” “I’ll think about it,” or a counter-proposal
- Aim for interest-based solutions, not defeating the other person
- Use “I” statements, don’t interrupt, raise voices, or point fingers
- Take breaks to manage emotions and get advice as needed
- Build self-confidence to reduce defensiveness and improve outcomes
Common Issues We Help Resolve
- Children’s living arrangements
- Parenting and holiday/vacation schedules
- Decision-making (sole vs. joint)
- Activities, costs, insurance, and medical expenses
- Property division (home, cars, personal property)
- Assets & liabilities, retirement plans, and business interests
- Spousal support
- Tax considerations
- Any other issues unique to your family
Parenting Decisions in the Best Interest of the Child
When parents can collaborate, joint decision-making supports consistent choices about medical care, child care, schooling, faith, holidays, and more. In high-conflict situations, sole decision-making may be considered to keep choices stable and child-centered.
Expenses to clarify include medical bills, child support, school fees, extracurriculars, and college savings.
Protecting Children Through the Process
Kids are hurt most by ongoing conflict—not by the legal status of divorce itself. We help you:
- Keep both parents consistently involved when safe and appropriate
- Avoid criticism of the other parent in front of the child
- Stop using children as messengers
- Coordinate on significant changes before telling the kids
- Support your child’s emotional, moral, social, and educational development
Financial Decisions & Professional Guidance
Key choices may include the home, vehicles, bank/retirement accounts, stock options, bonuses, and other investments. Mediation is not a substitute for independent legal, tax, or financial advice—bring your professionals into the process so you’re fully informed. Agreements remain non-binding until reviewed, written, and entered by the court.
You can file pro se (on your own), but we generally recommend attorney review for accuracy and protection.
Questions to Consider Before We Begin
- When do we need a finalized agreement?
- Am I prepared to be the flexible one if needed?
- What package of terms could work for both of us?
- If I got what I truly need, how would that help our kids (and me)?
- Which issues seem easiest to resolve first?
- What would I propose if I were in the other person’s shoes?
- Wouldn’t it make sense to see how far we can get before going to court?
Ready to Move Forward Respectfully?
Blair Counseling and Mediation provides a neutral, structured process to help you make clear parenting and financial decisions—and reduce the likelihood of returning to court. Contact us to get started.
27 Grant Street, Crystal Lake, Illinois 60014
12555 Farm Hill Rd., Huntley, IL 60142
Common questions
Why use Divorce Mediation before or after a divorce?
- To reduce the negative effects of divorce on children.
- To increase satisfaction with the outcome on both sides compared to litigation alone.
- To reduce the chance of returning to court after divorce.
- To reduce costs. Mediation can be used for all or part of a dispute.
- To customize agreements based on your unique situation.
What Happens After the Mediation?
After mediation is completed, the Memorandum of Understanding can be sent to your attorney for review. An attorney will prepare the final document, which is called a Separation Agreement, Settlement Agreement, or some variation of this legal document, for filing in court. Depending on your preference and situation, either you or the attorney may file the papers for divorce.
What if I Don’t Like Mediation?
Unless you have been ordered to mediation by the court, your attendance is voluntary. Whether or not the court has ordered you to attend mediation, you are never under an obligation to come to an agreement. Agreement is always voluntary. You may end mediation at any time or the mediator may end mediation if he does not think it is productive.
Who is Present at the Mediation Session?
You and your spouse or partner will both be present at the mediation session. The mediator will often choose to speak with each of you privately and confidentially at least once during the mediation process and sometimes more often. On occasion, people choose to include their attorneys in the mediation sessions, or the mediator may ask that the attorneys be present. Sometimes, children or teenagers may be present for certain discussions. These choices are made with the mediator.
Is Mediation Appropriate for Me?
All parties to a dispute must be willing to participate and capable of informed decision-making. All parties must provide full disclosure of information. Each party must be comfortable disagreeing with another party in the same room and not fear retaliation. Neither party must be subject to domestic violence or threats.
How Much Does Mediation Cost?
Generally, mediation sessions are scheduled to last from one and a half to two hours, depending on the couple’s needs and available time. Some couples prefer longer sessions while others find that shorter sessions are more productive. In certain circumstances, half or full day sessions may occur.
How Often Will we Meet with the Mediator?
At the initial mediation session, you will begin to identify the issues that need to be decided in your particular situation. What these issues are, how urgent the decisions are, how quickly you are able to gather the required information, and how fast you wish to proceed will determine the schedule you set to meet with the mediator. Often, one, two or even more weeks may elapse between sessions. You may meet with the mediator over the course of a month or several months. In situations where couples have no children and no property, a shorter time frame and fewer sessions may be sufficient.
How Long Are the Sessions?
You and your spouse or partner will both be present at the mediation session. The mediator will often choose to speak with each of you privately and confidentially at least once during the mediation process and sometimes more often. On occasion, people choose to include their attorneys in the mediation sessions, or the mediator may ask that the attorneys be present. Sometimes, children or teenagers may be present for certain discussions. These choices are made with the mediator.
How Long Will Mediation Take for a Divorce?
Because each separation and divorce is different, it is hard to predict exactly how long your mediation will last. In general, a couple who must make decisions about both parenting and financial issues may meet with a mediator for three to eight sessions. This varies depending on how complex the issues are how well the couple is able to work together to make the decisions that need to be made.
In addition to meeting with the couple, the mediator will take time to prepare a Memorandum of Understanding, which outlines all of the agreements that have been reached through the mediation process. You will want to have an attorney draft the final legal Agreement that is filed with the court when you file for divorce.
Is a Mediated Agreement Binding?
If you are involved in a divorce or another family issue that is filed in court, any agreement you reach will be filed with the court. You should speak with your lawyer about how this works and what your options are. The court generally reviews the agreement to assure that it conforms to the standards that have been established, such as the child support guidelines and, where it doesn’t, looks at what special circumstances exist.
If your dispute is not filed in court, the agreement is usually considered to be a contract. Depending on the nature of the agreement and the dispute, if there is a breach of the contract, you may be able to file a claim with the court.
A lawyer can advise you on your particular situation.
Will I Need a Lawyer in Order to Use Mediation?
Consulting with an attorney at some point during the mediation process to make sure you fully understand your legal rights is highly recommended. However, by using mediation, it is likely that you will use fewer legal services and that those you use will be different than if you did not use mediation. Unlike a mediator, a lawyer can answer legal questions about how the law applies to your specific situation, what the likely outcome in court would be, and can draft documents for filing with the court.
If I Use Mediation, Will I Need to Go to Court to Get Divorced?
If you are divorcing, you will have to file for divorce in court whether or not you use mediation. However, if you are able to reach a mutually agreeable resolution to all of the property, financial, custody, parenting and other issues that you must resolve, and the court accepts your settlement, it is likely that your court experience will be quite limited. Generally, the more you do outside of the court to decide how you want to handle your divorce, the better.
What Training Does Someone Need to Become a Mediator?
Most divorce and family mediators have completed a forty-hour divorce and family mediation training course and pursue advanced continuing education. Mediators should have advanced degrees in law, psychology, or other areas relevant to working with families.
What is the Process of Mediation?
Blair Counseling and Mediation can mediate all or part of the following process:
The initial contact includes a call from one person for information, speaking with the other person involved, and scheduling a meeting.
Session one includes one separate meeting for an orientation to mediation process, a review of issues to be addressed in mediation, and an introduction to forms and information required.
Subsequent sessions are usually conjoint (but can be separate) to resolve:
- Child(ren)’s living arrangments
- Parenting schedule
- Holiday/Vacation schedule
- Parental decision making process
- Child(ren)’s activities and costs
- Insurance and medical expenses and other child-related issues
- Property Division (including house, cars, etc.)
- Assets and Liabilities
- Spousal support
- Retirement plans
- Business issues
- Tax issues
- Any other issues of concern
The final session reviews the memorandum of understanding and then the agreements are sent to lawyers for review and drafting into legal document for filing. Both parties will be encouraged to seek advice throughout the process from attorneys, accountants, counselors, etc. so accurate information is available. The mediator does not act in any of these roles.