“I wish we were closer.”
“I wish I knew what she was thinking.”
“He should know what I want. It doesn’t do any good if I have to ask for it.”
Researchers found marriages are strengthened through cognitive empathy, or perspective-taking – how accurately one partner understands the other partner’s emotions. Staying connected through attunement prevents the deterioration of a relationship when stressed.
Unfortunately, life gets in the way with its stressors, negative communication patterns, and lack of time and energy.
While the benefits of journaling are well-known, Minute Mood is designed to be a tool to stay connected. With a little time and energy, you can “read your partner’s mind” during the day. It encourages a key element of communication: the ability to clarify your partner’s thoughts and feelings about a given topic. The app discourages immediate response, as our brain processes information better over time. Close relationships are familiar with each other’s world. Later in the day, it provides the understanding needed as the basis to resolve conflict.
Start by selecting an emoji for your mood in your personal journal. Your partner can see it in your statistics. Then, in the “About Me” section clarify what you are feeling about your day or the relationship. Talk about what you feel, not about your partner’s emotions or behavior.
Then, in the “About You” section, be curious and clarify what you think your partner feels about their day or the relationship. Make sure you write from your partner’s perspective and not yours. Consider their joys, frustrations, worries and sadness.
This is not a place to criticize your partner or defend yourself. When you read what your partner has said do not respond right away. Talk about it at a later time.