Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a treatment modality and a way to understand and differentiate between your authentic “Self” and parts of yourself, and how the Self and parts of you interact. These terms are defined in IFS. The Self is often defined as a source of relaxed and helpful energy, and while parts of you are important and have good intentions, they may be operating based on fears, and can be depleting, or in conflict. We can all identify with a part of me want this, and a part of me wants that. After clarifying the difference between Self and parts, and having permission to focus on a part to understand it, here are a sample of questions that can be explored:
Get to know a part.
- Is there a part of you that wants help?
- Do you know how this part is trying to help you?
- Do you know what it is afraid of?
Differentiate from other parts and Self.
- How do you feel about it? (This identifies additional parts, for which you can ask the same questions above).
- The Self helps conflicting parts understand and appreciate each other, ask for what is needed, and think of options for resolution.
- For the spiritual, you can incorporate what God would say or do.
Meet the needs of the part.
- The Self can witness the feelings, thoughts, and sensations of a part that had hurtful or traumatic experiences.
- The Self can meet what the part needed, and help this part can leave the scene and find safety in the present through mental imagery, enactments, and symbolic actions to let go of false beliefs and incorporate new qualities of the Self.
- Parts are changed and have new roles to play, and have a trusting relationship with Self, allowing the Self to make decisions.
