While we can start by identifying what we feel and need, sometimes is it more complicated than that. We can all identify with a part of me want this, and a part of me wants that. Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a treatment modality and a way to understand and differentiate between your authentic “Self” and parts of yourself, and how the Self and parts of you interact. These terms are defined in IFS. The Self is often defined as a source of calm, curiousity and compassion, and while parts of you have good intentions and are protective of other parts, they may be operating based on fears, and can be depleting. Starting with a part you want to work on, each step you take to help this part should be taken only with permission from other parts of you that may get in the way. Here are a sample of questions that can be explored:
Identify a protective part.
- What does this part want you to know?
- What is its goal?
- Do you know what it is afraid of?
Identify the Self.
- How do you feel about this part? (This defines additional parts that may be getting in the way and also want help, and helps you separate them from the Self).
- The Self helps conflicting parts understand and appreciate each other, and ask the part what is needed from the Self.
- For the spiritual, the part or Self can consult God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, or other trusted guide, especially in the following section.
Identify a protected part.
- The Self can witness the feelings, sensations and beliefs of a part that had hurtful or traumatic experiences.
- When this is complete, the Self can meet what the part needed, and help this part can leave the scene, and let go of burdensome false beliefs through mental imagery, enactments, and symbolic actions.
- Parts are invited to change, take on new qualities, and have new roles to play.
