Do I Need Marriage Counseling?

Making a marriage a priority is easy in the first stage of marriage, as partners are naturally energized and more tolerant of each other. But over time and as other stressors demand time and attention, less time and energy are available to go to the relationship. At this point annoyances and maybe resentments emerge, and criticism, complaining, or your partner’s lack of effort may cause you to lose feeling for the other. Goals at Blair Counseling include better communication and increased understanding of each partner. We also offer evidence-based Premarital Counseling.

Once, you were happy and in love. Now you feel like you can’t win with your partner, or you have just lost interest. At best, you do not want to live as mere roommates for the rest of your life. At worst, conflict can lead to depression, health problems, and impact your children. What is different now? If you were happy once, can’t we be happy again? Blair Counseling provides optional approaches to deal with resentments, lack of energy for the relationship, and lack of communication.

Many can identify with the story of “The Wall.”

The Wall

Their wedding picture mocked them from the other table, those two whose minds no longer touched each other.

They lived with such heavy barricade between them that neither battering ram of words nor artilleries of touch could break it down.

Somewhere, between the oldest child’s first tooth and the youngest daughter’s graduation, they lost each other.

Throughout the years each slowly unraveled that tangled ball of string called self, and as they tugged at stubborn knots, each hid his searching from the other.

Sometimes she cried at night and begged the whispering darkness to tell her who she was. He lay beside her, snoring like a hibernating bear, unaware of her winter.

Once, after they had made love, he wanted to tell how afraid he was of dying, but fearful to show his naked soul, he spoke instead of the beauty of her body.

She took a course on modern art, trying to find herself in color splashed upon a canvas, complaining to the other women about men who are insensitive.

He climbed into a tomb called the office, wrapped his mind in a shroud of paper figures, and buried himself in customers.

Slowly, the wall between them rose, cemented by the mortar of indifference.

One day, reaching out to each other, they found a barrier they could not penetrate, and recoiling from the coldness of the stone, each retreated from the stranger on the other side.

For when love dies, it is not in a moment of angry battle, not when fiery bodies lose their heat. It lies panting, exhausted expiring at the bottom of the wall it could not scale.

Author Unknown

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This confidential screening is for adult completion. It is not diagnostic and shall not be interpreted to indicate the need for treatment. It is not a substitute for clinical evaluation.